Kicked in the Teeth

Today is Friday!

2008-10-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday. I'm compiling a list of people I don't like.

People I don't like:

1. You.

2. Nancy Pelosi

3. Tom Green

4. Pauly Shore

5. Fat chicks I've accidentally hooked up with.

The End. Hope your weekend sucks, dickhead. I'm going camping.

The Ability to Parrot Back Information has Taken on the Facade of Intelligence

2008-10-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

In this world of asshats running for President and shitheads who've never gotten their hands dirty telling me what to do, I've found truth in that the ability to memorize a dictionary and a textbook means you're damn Einstein these days.

I'm not here saying I'm smarter than anyone else, but there is a reason some people who make all A's in school and don't get in to Medicine or Law and the average millionare is a "C' student. They don't posses the cranial capacity process and make useful all the garbage they've spent memorizing on commercial breaks while they watch Grey's Anatomy or they aren't creative enough to make it work.

This is why I have come not really to trust anyone in politics, and I have never respected any of my college professors or high school teachers very much. Reason being is that if they really knew what they were talking about or were parroting back from the text that I, as well as they own, they would not be in a classroom at an average university teaching it to me. Yeah, I've had a few professors who have written the textbooks or who contribute articles to publications no one reads or has heard of, but what it all boils down to is that these people are trying, not doing, and the worst part about parrots is that they're impossible do anything about, as they think their straight A's have granted them immunity from hearing anyone else's opinion.

And that's what has me terrified. These parrots and walking around parroting back the garbage they read in Rolling Stone or heard on the View, and that is what the election has boiled down to. Squawk. A race of parrots voting for their parrot god. Please think for yourselves.

And yeah, I'm just as much of an idealist as all of the little peaceful parrot hippies, but where are the balls? I'm terrified for America. Electing a president who is a parrot of Bill Ayers and Frank Marshall Davis but the liberal media makes it so hard to get any sort of truth about anyone they put on a pedestal. Obama is friends with someone who has blown shit up.

But, one has to almost respect Ayers, because, he in fact got things done. Just like John Wilkes Booth, Gavrilo Pricip and Samuel Adams. They wanted change, they got change. Violence works, perhaps Barry should take note of this when he tries to have peacetalks with other terrorists. They want to blow us up again, please don't let it happen.

Sleep - Dragonaut

2008-10-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

I love heavy music.

Fat Women Suck

2008-10-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one day? That's how I roll.

Fat Women. How nasty are fat women? The nastiest. Especially fat women who smoke. Fat smoking women with shitty attitudes like someone owes them something? The only thing we owe you is a free trip down a flight of stairs, stop taking up the whole elevator.

Growing up, I attended a Southern Baptist church. It seemed that being a fat woman is a rite of passage in that world and these women were no exception. AND they must have all gotten the same shitty "Fat Christian Woman" magazine that told them all to have short spiky hair and try to be stylish. There is no reason for fattys to be stylish, it's gross. And for some reason these manatees could sing too. Holy God in Heaven, singing manatees, someone help me pick my brains up off the floor.

I know being fat is fun, I used to be fat, but once I started wearing size 42 pants I knew I had to get my fat ass in gear. And I did and I'm back to 36s, almost to 34 God Willing.

So fat women, please lose the attitude. Society has no place for you. Neither do most chairs.

Losing weight is easy. Run and quit eating shitty food. Until then you will be sub-human in my eyes.

Oh and hey, fat men, this goes for you too unless you are unusually jolly, then I want to be pals with you.

Don't tax the "Rich", Bitch!

2008-10-15T07:07:00.000-07:00

Look, I am by no means "rich." I'm poor. Holy shit, I just applied to work part-time at a Chinese Food restaurant and my boss didn't get payroll in AGAIN.

But look at this, my poor and middle class Macintosh using, Juno-slang spouting, Urban Outfitters shoppers, the more money the rich have, the more of your sorry crap they buy. If we tax the "rich" too much no one is going to buy your shit crafts at the farmer's market so you can buy some tofurkey for thanksgiving or a new scarf to wear in the summer, nor is that "rich" dork going to give you asking price on Flash Comics #1 so you can gas up the Prius, seeing that you don't drive a bicycle.

Also, "rich" people are usually your boss. You want an angry boss? You want your boss to make less money? If your boss is making less money, guess who else makes less money....YOU, JACKASS!!! I swear to God no one thinks this crap through but me. I am a genius who is about to be serving Peking Duck to rednecks on dates. Someone break the Wall of China over my forehead.

Oh, and to those who want to one day "BE" the boss? You aren't going to want to lose your money then, are you? Are you? Get real.

And please, the asshole lot of you who are jealous of the rich or who have never had real jobs, your education could never prepare you for what will happen to this poor economy down the road. It's going to get worse and your weak-kneed asses with your Conner Oberst jibber jabber seem excited about it. You are all children.

The re-distribution of wealth is a sin to mankind. It is an insult to those who have poured their own blood and sweat into fulfilling the American Dream. You're pissing on the people who make this country great. Get a job and get wealthy yourself. This makes me sick to think about. Laziness is disgusting.

I hate the Capital Gains tax, and chances are I think you're a schmuck. Grow up.

What Really Happened to the Economy?

2008-10-10T12:08:00.000-07:00

Who wants to know why the economy's new roomate is a dumpster troll and and a prom night accident?

Allow me to inform you. And oh, trust me, I sell insurance. I know what the deal is.

Remember in 1994 when "that one" sued Citi to make bad loans? Do you know WHY they didn't want to give them out? because THEY WERE NOT GOING TO BE PAID BACK.

There is a reason why indivudals have a credit score. It's pretty much keeping tabs on their reliability. It's the very same principle behind taking a girl on a date before you marry her.

"Gnarls, look at that broad," you say. "Marry me?" "Hell yes," she says. You then take her home and she has a penis. Ask Eddie Murphy. I'm sure that situation sucks. Sort of like the one Citi got into when they were seeking some fine tail to wine and dine, then ask to make sandwiches. Instead, Citi got a lots of dicks. No one wants a lot of dicks.

So now there is no more money to lend to people who can pay them back, the dicks took it all. Thanks Dicks...BUT WAIT...LET'S PRINT MORE MONEY TO REALLY SHOVE AN INDIANA JONES TORCH UP OUR ASS.

Dammit. I can't finish typing this. Hillary didn't even do anything this bad. I'm so angry.

The Beginning

2008-10-10T11:19:00.000-07:00

Oh holy crap I had to go through three different capcha letter things to get this off the ground. It took me two days to come up with a title for this garbage but here you are, they all sucked but this is what you recieve.

Kicked in the Teeth comes from the Powerage album by AC/DC. Kicked in the Teeth is the best song on this album. Nashville Pussy covered this very same song. Nashville Pussy is not as apppreciated as they would have been 20 years ago, and that's what this world is missing; music that unbuckles the Bible Belt so God can piss on Cuba through his Florida penis so Fidel finally takes the golden plunge of death.

America is full of tee-ball coaches and soccer moms, and that my friends, is what this blog is about. America used to be a powerhouse cocktail made with the blood of slaughtered foreign enemies, molten steel from Pennsylvania, mouthwash whiskey we gave the indians to shut them the hell up, and our own balls we ripped from the arms of the Fairy English king and rammed back in our red white and blue scrotums. Shake this patriot cocktail up and pour in into the liberty bell an guaranteed it would make Sasquatch him self puke onto his hairy Canadian feet.

But look at us now, kids aren't able to win little league games, we're worried about offending people, and we give a damn what other countries think about us. And to top it all off our next president may be a weak-kneed smiling faggot who danced on the Ellen Degeneres show. Hit me in the face with a shovel. Theodore Roosevelt, this lands greatest, most manly president, would kick the shit out of Barry Obama for that sole reason.

This country is lacking violence and balls. It's time we rise up out of this gutter of filth and smiles and take back whatever the hell we want from this world. We are the United States of America. Lock and load, sissy. It's time to kick some ass.